The hidden aspects of Aspergers Syndrome in adulthood.

Disclaimer-this is my experience of Aspergers in adulthood-I am aware that it is not the same for everyone on the spectrum.

Being too fearful to speak on the telephone to sort out various parts of what being an adult is all about but not being allowed to have someone speak on your behalf because of Data Protection rules. 

Trying so hard to cope with life that, when you are struggling, nobody understands why because it’s hard to understand how someone who seems so logical can have a breakdown over the tiniest thing that most people don’t even notice.

Executive functioning issues leading to difficulties with organising yourself. 

Being overwhelmed by the hectic pace of life to such an extent that you simply “switch off”. 

Struggling so much with making choices and decisions that you genuinely can’t choose and instead “zone out.” 

Always misunderstanding the context and meaning of what people are saying to you and then embarrassing yourself as a consequence. 

Having to rely on structure and routine to function the best that you can with the result that a lot of people find you “boring”. 

Desperately trying (and failing) to multitask in an environment where there are lots of different noises confusing your brain greatly. 

Feeling the stress and anxiety building inside you but not being able to do anything about it because you know people won’t understand why you need to behave in certain ways so waiting until you are in a safe and private place and then letting it all out in ways that would probably scare people if they were to witness it. 

Trying so hard to fit in with other people but never quite getting it right and instead being disappointed time after time. 

Constantly criticising yourself for small mistakes even years after you made them. 

Feeling like you are living in a world that doesn’t compute with your brain and punishes you for that fact on numerous occasions but knowing that your feelings are probably playing tricks on you.