Aspergers and coming across as “ageless”.

A lot of people both with and without Aspergers have talked about the so called youthful appearance most people with Aspergers have. I have certainly noticed myself that some people I have met with Aspergers who are in their fifties or sixties look at least twenty years younger. I also find a lot of people who don’t know me personally tend to age me as in my early twenties when I am in fact nearer thirty. I believe that the reason why I may appear to look younger than I am is because, unlike most women, I don’t wear any makeup on a day to day basis so don’t look particularly adult. Makeup has never interested me although I do wear it on special occasions. I tend to rub my eyes a lot so any eye makeup ends up smeared around my eyes and I also have an overactive blink reflex so anything near my eyes makes me flinch and screw them up. Other people have theorised that the reason why people with AS tend to look younger is because they get less stressed over everyday things. I don’t agree with that though as I know a lot of people with Aspergers who look younger than they are but still struggle dreadfully with stress and anxiety on a daily basis.

People with Aspergers are frequently described in the medical literature as immature or lacking in age appropriate interests. I wouldn’t say we are immature-I prefer the term “ageless”. I am going to be thirty in just under a year and a half but I don’t feel it. I am not interested in makeup or fashion and I am interested in things that most people my age aren’t interested in. I am an avid watcher of human interest documentaries to an extent that could be considered by many as obsessive whereas most people I know aren’t interested in these. Emotionally I have always had outbursts that make me seem very childlike but, at the same time, I desire a marriage and children. I don’t feel as old as I am chronologically and sometimes I look at myself and feel that I am nowhere near as responsible as someone my age should be but then I remember that, in the workplace, I am hugely responsible on a day to day basis. I feel younger than I am but have certain views that make me feel as though I am living in the wrong era and should have been born in the 1950s. I feel like an enigma in ways. There are parts of me that function like a young child and other parts of me that function like someone 20 years older than me.

To this extent, I believe that most people with Aspergers are “ageless” rather than inherently younger than their chronological age. I see it as a sign of our eccentricity that we can function both years older and years younger than our actual age. Of course there are people without Aspergers who also function in such a way but I do definitely think it’s an Aspergers trait to display interests and behaviours that mean people think your age is vastly different to what it actually is.

As an end note, is it really important how old people think someone is? I have heard people take huge offence when someone thinks they are ten years older than they are because they see it as an insult that they look older. I personally don’t care how old people think I am-if people think you are older than you are, perhaps you should take it as a compliment about how wise you are and about how much life experience you have. Society needs to stop being so obsessed with age and start enjoying life as it is, wrinkles or not!


3 Responses to Aspergers and coming across as “ageless”.

  1. People always think I’m younger than I am too and it irritates me as it only usually turns up when when I’m trying to purchase age restricted items. I know that I can be very wise beyond my years but also you have to contrast it with the fact I can be incredibly child like. I don’t have much makeup as I don’t like the fact your faking yourself and it’s vanity. I never really got on well with my age group but instead of those older as they understand my quirks and younger as they don’t care and there very accepting. I struggle with so many things it’s unbelievable.

  2. Noah Weiss says:

    This is a thought-provoking post, and I particularly like the “ageless” hypothesis. When I was in elementary school, I didn’t get along well with my classmates, but did get along well with almost all of my teachers. Nowadays, I seem to relate well to anyone, and have interests that are wide-ranging.

  3. frithkin says:

    Thank you for sharing this information it felt like a breath of fresh air to me as a lot of things you shared rang true to my own experience of myself and Aspergers .

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