“I Don’t Mind”

The above phrase is one of my most used ones. Like a lot of people on the autistic spectrum, I am very indecisive and struggle to make choices or decisions, whether big or small. I know that this is not solely the preserve of those on the autistic spectrum but it is a definite trait from what I have noticed and I believe that this is the reason why we generally thrive on routine and structure. If you are not given too many choices, then the confusion element doesn’t exist and it is very confusing. 

I can remember sitting for a whole morning when on study leave for my A Levels (for those who are non UK based, these are exams taken at the age of 18 in the UK), trying to decide which topics to revise for my Sociology exam. This was not an act of procrastination-I desperately wanted to get on with my revision but I genuinely couldn’t decide which topics to revise. Eventually I chose my topics and revised them well, gaining a respectable B grade in my final A Level.

I struggle with smaller choices as well. When I meet up with a friend for lunch, for example, and they ask me where I want to eat, my stock answer is “I Don’t Mind”. When I am with a friend who’s equally as indecisive as me, we can get stuck at choosing where to eat for a good half hour or so! Usually I let other people decide and I’ll go along with what they want to do although, obviously, this doesn’t work with bigger decisions. Too much choice is overwhelming as I know that there is no real preference I have for one particular type of restaurant over any other as I will eat pretty much anywhere!

Talking of restaurants, I have a long standing tactic for avoiding having to make choices when it comes to the menu. I have standard meals that I will eat in restaurants-spaghetti bolognaise or Carbonara in an Italian restaurant, chicken tikka masala and pilau rice in a curry house, sweet and sour chicken balls and prawns on sesame seed toast in a Chinese restaurant and usually a beef or cheese burger in a pub. This often earns me some light hearted teasing for being boring and predictable but the number of choices on the average menu is staggering! 

Choice is confusing and I suspect that a lot of people with Aspergers are “I Don’t Mind” people. Obviously everyone with Aspergers is an individual but generally we don’t really cope with lots of choices or having to make a choice or decision under pressure. 

That’s me done for today. Tomorrow I am aiming to make a post about the positive aspects of my Aspergers as there are some aspects of it that I genuinely appreciate.


5 Responses to “I Don’t Mind”

  1. Eleanor Lowry says:

    Stephanie, don’t know if you have heard of it, but try to read The Reason I Jump…I know you will find it interesting. Hope you remember me and our enjoyable times at Wray Common Primary School. Eleanor Lowry x

  2. sjmarsh2013 says:

    Hi! Of course I remember you! Thanks for taking the time to read my blog and comment on it! I will definitely be checking out “The Reason I Jump”. Thanks for the recommendation 🙂

  3. Angela Goodwin says:

    My worst problem is when I go to a pub coz I never know what I want to drink coz its always changing and if im not looking and tasting how am I supposed to know. Results in standard drink choices even if there not very nice from that place.

  4. Katherine says:

    I just stumbled across your blog through Wrong Planet, and I have to say that much of what you say rings true with my experience. One of my most common phrases is “oh, OK;” I sort of go along to get along with other people, especially since I don’t know myself what I want in the moment (I sort of have to think about it for a while). And like you, I have certain types of foods I get everywhere I go.

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